It’s here!! December has arrived with all its bling, festivity, stress, and excitement. Depending on what stage of life you're in, December can take on different meanings. When you have young children, it seems to be enchanting. They remind us of the magic of Christmas. Seeing it through our children’s eyes brings a whole new perspective.
When our children are older, Christmas still has those magical moments but it’s just not quite the same. For me, December means Christmas Hallmark movies! They’re absolutely the best and definitely get me in the Christmas spirit! And yes, I know exactly what’s going to happen within the first 10 minutes! But, alas, during these stressful times they bring a lightness and easiness to the season!
For many of us, Christmas often brings stress and anxiety. Increased spending, travelling on winter roads, family dynamics, getting our shopping and baking completed on time - these can all cause reasons to worry. My motto is, “one day at a time.”
It’s important to remember, we don’t have to spend money that we don’t have. Instead of gifts, we can have a “homemade Christmas” - exchange baking, paint a picture, write a poem, sing a song - be creative! Another option is to think of something you and the recipient can do together. It doesn’t have to cost much, but often these experiences you share are going to be more memorable than a gift.
This season, although it brings much joy for many of us, can also bring unbearable grief and sorrow. It can be beautiful, but also bring heavy hearts at the same time. There are powerful emotions involved for all of us. I think it’s so important that we respect the emotions of those around us and try to be there for those we love without judgement. We can never be sure of what others have endured during this time or what memories it can bring.
Kids also experience “big emotions” during the holidays. It’s our job to support them and understand that their “meltdowns” are not about us and do not mean we’re bad parents. They consistently need our love, empathy, and understanding because just like the grown-ups in their lives, this time can be stressful and overwhelming!
Here are some things to be mindful of when we think our kids are “misbehaving” during the holidays:
1) They’re not trying to embarrass you - they may just be feeling overwhelmed by a lot of new people.
2) Many times, they are overstimulated and need a break – they are not intentionally trying to ruin your fun.
3) Any meltdowns are not a reflection of your parenting; they just need your attention.
4) When you think they are being defiant and refusing to listen, it’s nice to remember that they just feel safe displaying these feelings with you.
5) We must not fall into their chaos and try to be the calm in the situation.
Lastly, I wanted to offer some self-care tips for the month of December.
1) Cozy up with loved ones
2) Find comfort in tradition
3) Listen to old favourites
4) Treat yourself
5) Make a wish for next year
6) Appreciate your home
7) Hang up old regrets
8) Accept your imperfections
9) Seek out new growth
10) Rejoice in your progress
As we maneuver our way through December, remember there is comfort in tradition, joy in the mess, and try to find humour in the chaos! Let’s try to the best of our ability to focus on the light and connect with whoever and whatever makes you feel the most at home!
Until next time…