I believe we teach what we need most in our own lives! Nothing reminded me more of that than this past week. I was asked to be on a Parenting Podcast - instant fear and worry started to settle in. The “what ifs?” What if my mind goes blank from fear when they ask a question? What if I don’t know the answer? What if I make a fool of myself? Then, self-doubt, “do I actually know what I’m talking about?”
Of course, I do! I’ve been teaching mental and emotional well-being for 15 years! For those of you who don’t know me, public speaking has been a phobia of mine forever. From the time I was in grade school and had to get up in front of the class, all the way through university, and still to this day. At the workshops, classes, and conferences I speak at, I’m constantly battling this fear. I lose nights of sleep before, my heart races during, and sometimes things even go black! In the past, there are certain parts of speeches or presentations that I don’t even remember!
The good news is, I’ve gotten much better! The more I do it, the easier it gets. The nerves and anxiety will probably always be there, but I push through because I don’t have a choice. I believe what I teach is so important for the future of our planet. I remind myself of Glennon Doyle’s quote:
“We can do hard things”
Even on Monday’s podcast I was 100 (maybe 50) times better! I needed to remind myself what I teach, and implement the strategies immediately when I hear my self-talk. Here are some things that I do when the fear and anxiety start to rock me to my core:
· The first step is awareness – being aware of the negative things you tell yourself in different situations (practicing mindfulness is a great tool to achieve this)
· Secondly, try to remain present because this is where we experience the least amount of stress, focus on what you’re doing, as you’re doing it. Don’t let your thoughts stray to the event that you are nervous about
· Breathe – let breath anchor you to the present moment (in for 3 counts, hold for 1, and out for three)
· Stop negative thoughts in their tracks. I sometimes just use the word “stop” and follow up with an affirmation to change a fear-based thought to a good- feeling thought. We can also use centering – breathing in and on the exhale repeating, “relax the muscles in my jaw, neck, and shoulders,” and repeat a few times
· Lastly, focus on the positive and all the things that could go “right.” For example, I will be reaching a larger target audience and with that, the possibility of helping a lot more people. Also, the podcast is out of the states and with that, comes a brand-new audience. I could possibly meet new people/groups that I can join forces with to help in this much needed area! Or, if I meet new people, I could form connections, and maybe even new friendships!
The most important thing is to focus on the positive and all the things that could go right! I know public speaking is a fear for many of us. I hope these suggestions will be helpful to some of you. We must push through the fear to better ourselves and make a difference. Surprisingly, we always come out the other side!
If you’re interested in listening to my conversation with Lindsay Hein on her podcast “Why is Everyone Yelling”, click on the links below:
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/why-is-everyone-yelling/id1533854578?i=1000521357771
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3TZekIR39sg5fzQrAru3Qf?si=3AoT7yiiTXacl9lyDQUhzg&dl_branch=1
Until next time…do the things that scare you!